Digital Dangers: Parents, What would you do? 

  • What would you do if your child received inappropriate emojis but didn’t know what they meant ?
  • How do you know the people your kids connect with online are not predators?
  • What would you do if you found out they were a predator or suspected they were?
  • Do you think your child is exempt from being targeted by a predator?

During the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Summit, law enforcement shared their challenges to curbing online child exploitation. During the summit, it became abundantly clear that online abuse and sexual exploitation are on the rise. Since the pandemic, perpetrators have magnified more than you can ever imagine. As more children access online games and social media, more predators seek them out. 

The number of online predators has increased at an alarming rate. So much so, that law enforcement is unable to keep up. Locating them has become progressively harder due to encryption. Some are so encrypted that law enforcement cannot get in. 

Initially, predators were seeking 13-15 year olds. Now they are seeking children much younger. Children as young as seven years old viewing pornography is no longer uncommon. Sexting is on the rise, normalized and often glamorized in children. 

Children are looking for attention, gratification and love. They are competing for “Likes”. Offenders often dangle bait based off of the children’s desires in order to connect with kids. They may offer Fortnite Bucks, tokens and emojis as a way to manipulate. Kids are being monetized for risky behaviors. 

Although NO PLATFORM IS SAFE, the most dangerous include: 

  • Kick
  • Telegram
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram/Facebook/Twitter
  • Gaming Platforms

If you suspect an online predator has contacted your child: 

DON’T:

  • Respond to the perp
    • By responding to them, you’ll tip them off. They’ll delete the account and change their IP address. Therefore, preventing law enforcement from finding them and putting more kids at risk. 
  • Copy or share the perps information on social media
    • The perpetrator may see the post and again delete the account and change their IP address. 
  • Blame/Punish your child
    • It is not your child’s fault they were manipulated 
  • Turn the device off

DO:

  • Be their trusted adult without punishing
    • Get engaged in their hobbies and interests
    • Have regular conversations with them
  • Stay calm
  • Put the device in Airplane mode- keep it on
  • Call 800.THE.LOST to report
  • Make a report at cybertipline.org
  • Take the device to your local police department right away
  • Put your phone down
    • Unplug and engage with your kids
    • Kids model your behavior
  • Pay attention to what is happening in your child’s life
    • Be alert to behavior changes and mood swings
  • Develop a Cell Phone contract with your child which includes but is not limited to these rules: 
    • Daily checking of the phone
    • Discussion with child over what’s being communicated via text, Messenger, SnapChat…
    • Check for unknown/inappropriate apps
    • DO NOT allow the phone in their bedroom overnight
    • Limit phone usage 
    • No need to carry it if they are at school or with you
    • Consider the reason you got the phone

Perspective From a Mom of a preteen: What would you do? 

Jamie Hergott (Allies Mentor, Allies Mentorship Coach and Mom to Pre-Teen) shares how she and her husband Cody handle internet safety in their home. 

  • What would you do if you found out another student was asking your daughter for nude photos?
    • I would ask my daughter who this student was and the nature of their friendship. I’d ask why he has her number and if this is the first time he has asked. I would see how she responded before deciding on any disciplinary measures. This could be a student who has a problem with this issue and engages in this behavior regularly. I would have a long talk with my daughter how whether she feels safe around this student, and I’d ask her if other students engage in this behavior. I’d ask if he has said or done anything else to make her uncomfortable. I would report this to the school. I would also reach out to this student’s parents to notify them of their son’s behavior. I’d delete and block his number.

 

  • What would you do if your child wanted to play Roblox with a friend of a friend online?
    • We have pretty strict rules at our house regarding who our kids play with on computer games. On games like Roblox, they are allowed to play only with friends we have approved. They aren’t allowed to “friend” people they/we do not know. The chat feature is always disabled.

 

  • What would you do if your child’s phone number was added to a “group chat” of over 20 other kids from school?
    • We do not allow group chats. This is a really easy way for your child’s number to get into the hands of multiple people they do not know. I’ve told my daughter to make sure her friends know NOT to pass her number on. She always knows to remove herself from those groups immediately.

 

For more resources on how to talk with your kids about online safety, check out kNot Today’s Parent Guide.