Please be advised that the story below contains potentially triggering content regarding system involvement, trafficking and sexual exploitation. 

Parents and guardians of youth affected by human trafficking and sexual exploitation have a unique set of experiences, concerns and needs that are often unmet. When a trafficked youth is lucky enough to have a caretaker who is willing to engage in their life as they navigate involvement with the child welfare system, therapy, residential treatment facility placements and countless team meetings, it is often very overwhelming for those supportive adults. Not only have they experienced the trauma of a loved one being exploited, their home has been disrupted and they now have to learn how to juggle the requirements of the child welfare system. While there are numerous supports in place for the youth to help them on their journey toward healing, very little, if any exist for the caretakers themselves; caretakers like Sherrie. 

Sherrie became a mother at the age of 18. She wasn’t planning on having a baby so soon, but it gave her a sense of purpose in a life that often felt chaotic and unfair. Her father had been abusing her since before she could remember, and home had never been a safe place. Somehow, she had made it through high school, but had no plan and nowhere to go once Kyah was born. Throughout Kyah’s childhood and adolescence, Sherrie found places for them to stay, sometimes with family, sometimes with friends, and eventually in a place of their own. Sherrie often worked two jobs to make sure Kyah had everything she needed, and did her best to make their home a safe place where Kyah felt loved. Sherrie and Kyah’s relationship was complicated, but they loved and took care of each other.

Even with the best of intentions, Sherrie’s past trauma affected the way she showed up as a mother to protect her daughter and provide a better life. When Kyah turned 15, she became wrapped up in an unhealthy relationship that resulted in her being trafficked. Their lives were turned upside down. Kyah was placed in a residential facility to receive therapy and treatment, and Sherrie was left reeling – how could this have happened to her sweet girl? What could she have done differently? Hadn’t she tried everything she could to protect Kyah? What was she supposed to do now, and who was going to help her as she tried to navigate the child welfare system to help her daughter?

It’s commonly said that before helping someone else put on their oxygen mask, you must put on your own. Parents and caregivers of exploited youth rarely have the opportunity to care for themselves as they take on the overwhelming task of supporting a child who has been traumatized.

We often give our focus on the child in these situations, and rightly so! Children like Kyah have a long road ahead and can only begin to heal with the help of many different service professionals and supportive adults. Caregivers like Sherrie, however, are typically left to navigate their situations alone. Not only are they grieving the trauma their child has experienced, they are climbing a mountain of new expectations and requirements from the child welfare system, on top of the difficulties their lives already have dealt them.

In most cases like Kyah’s, reunification of the nuclear family is always a priority. If the long-term healing and success of the child is the ultimate goal, we must invest in making sure the home is a safe, healthy environment. Investing in the healing and strength of the family becomes just as important as investing in the survivor of trafficking. However, little to no services exist for this kind of support. 

Fortunately, Allies has been a pioneer in filling this gap for caretakers over the past six years. In 2015, the Department of Child Services called upon Allies to create an educational program for parents and caregivers of the youth they’d been working with who had been identified as trafficking survivors. They had also noticed a gap in the education and preparedness of guardians to care for these children once they return home.

In response, Allies created Thrive, a 10-week curriculum, designed for a 75-90 minute small group setting once a week, providing education and tools for success combined with a form of support and empathy that only others who have similar experiences can provide. 

At Allies, we recognize that walking with survivors is not one dimensional, affecting and benefiting only the survivor herself. In order to be truly supportive we must also involve the family, whether biological, foster or adoptive, to continue to support her formative years and future parent-child relationships.

I recently heard an adult survivor who was over 10 years removed from her exploitive relationships share that while she was grateful for all of the support she had received throughout her teenage years to help her understand her trauma, identify triggers and learn coping skills, and build healthy developmental relationships, she grieves the fact that her and her mother’s relationship remains strained. She noted that she had personally been given the tools and resources to move forward in her life, yet her mother, unreached by the same services that had supported her, left her without resources, tools, and community to move forward alongside her daughter. 

This is what Thrive provides. Thrive is a place for parents and truly FOR them. 

 

If you are a parent or guardian of a survivor of trafficking and would like support in this way, please contact Audrey Hood for more information.